Adventures Make Great Stories

Dear Senator

2011-04-08T06:13:00.001-07:00

I am not a "political" person, but I felt with the looming possibility that Zach doesn't get paid in the event of a government shutdown, I had better write my Congressmen. I'm just super glad that I get to trust in the Lord, not some lawmakers. Here's what I sent:

I am a military wife. My husband has sworn to protect, honor and defend the United States so that this country can strive for peace and stability. It strikes me that you are called to that same duty as a politician, and yet your fellow politicians cannot even extend the hand of peace to one another and effectively compromise to determine a budget. Please uphold this standard of honor that my husband and his colleagues have given their allegiance to, as you step up to the plate and come to a decision. I urge you to be the peacemaker, and encourage your fellow Senators to become colorblind over their Red or Blue agendas and think of the people you have sworn to lead.

Thank you for your consideration.

Hopeful

2011-03-06T17:00:00.001-08:00

Tomatoes, cucumbers, basil are all planted inside.
Ready to see how well my mini-vegetable garden does in the weeks to come.

Green thumb or brown?

Hello Captain Obvious

2011-03-03T16:26:00.000-08:00

Well, there you have it. KRTV announced that this February was the snowiest on record for Great Falls. Glad to have live through this one, but still wary of all the native Montanas who keep saying "I promise, this is the worst weather we've had in years!" I think they're still just trying to sell us their state.

In related news, we've been missing California a lot lately. *sigh*

http://www.krtv.com/news/snowiest-february-ever-in-great-falls/

White Christmas

2010-12-29T08:03:00.000-08:00

I'm sitting in our living room right now, and there is so much snow coming down it doesn't even seem real. Yesterday, our backyard was green. Now, there is probably 4-5 inches just from last night. Its the perfect day to drink some tea and update a blog that Zach has apparently forgotten about.

Sometimes living in Great Falls feels like being on a island. Everything is so far away, its just too much of a hassle to get out of the city. We found ourselves with a long weekend off, the arrival of some belated wedding money, and a new Montana guidebook so we hit the road to Bozeman! (Side note: there was ONE town big enough to have a gas station between us and Bozeman. One.)

Bozeman is about half the size of Great Falls with twice the culture. It has renovated its historical buildings to create a really cute downtown area. We spent most of our time just window shopping and getting our fix of food and stores for another few months!

Our first stop: the Montana Aleworks Brewhouse. Montanans love their beer and every big town has a brewery. I tried some hometown Bozeman brew. Zach was lured into trying the Montana Meatloaf-pork, bison, beef, wrapped in bacon. Not Kosher, but SO GOOD.

Next stop was the Bozeman Hot Springs. No pictures from there, but it was great so be swimming indoors and look out at the snow! We finished off our weekend walking through downtown Bozeman. Super fun specialty stores (as well as the nearest Cost Plus World Market and Baja Fresh).

In case anyone is thinking I'm a Montana hater, this is what I get to wake up to sometimes:

It's the Big Sky for a reason! :)

2010-09-01T11:57:00.000-07:00

Five more days of work for me. 11 more trainer rides for Zach and two tests. Not that we're counting or anything. Even though we are winding things up around here, we are still keeping busy. Check out what we've been up to:

1) Hosting. In the past two week's we've had three CouchSurfers stay with us. Adam and Corrie from Kansas City brought their one year old daughter, Acadia, and a stack of cards to keep us entertained that evening. So nice open our homes to believers for a change as well! I don't know what will bring us to KC, but we have great people to stay with if end up that way. Two German students followed them, but we didn't hit it off as much. Oh well. Last night we rounded it off with a couple from Barcelona. We had a lively conversation and made us bump up Spain on our "Places to Visit" list. Right after Costa Rica. Or Ireland. Depending on if you ask Zach or me ;) My mom visited for a few days as well, and it was great to have some laid back Girl Time. We baked cookies, took Bella to the dog park, and spent a day driving up the coast. Here we are at Hearst Castle!

2) Kitchen experiments. It started with my bread machine cookbook and an Apple Challah recipe. Then it was the Chocolate Challah recipe a few pages later. "Ooh! A recipe for English muffins!" (Half were burnt, but that's why we experiment, right?). What goes with breads? Jams! So last week I spent every day going to the grocery store for "Just one more thing" and ended up with Peach Chutney, Pear Ginger preserves, Peach Ginger preserves, Pumpkin Apple Butter, and Strawberry Jam. Canning is addicting. These are your Christmas presents, people, so just wait a few more months to taste!

3. Dogs. We thought about getting another poodle. Adopted a second poodle. Lost the second poodle. Found the second poodle. Nearly strangled the second poodle because he was so crazy. Realized I was too allergic to him. Returned second poodle. I guess we're a one-dog family, but that's ok.

Au Revoir, Braxton.

It looks like we're having a lot of fun, but we could also use your prayers. Zach's sister was riding her bike to church last Sunday and was hit by a car. Amazingly, she is doing ok, but has a concussion, some bruising of the brain, and is pretty shaken up by the whole thing. She's going to need a lot of rest, a lot of recovery, and is not allowed to exercise to do sports for six months. Keep her in your prayers as she goes through this whole process of recuperation. Thanks everyone!

We love you Danica!!

The God Who Provides

2010-08-19T07:38:00.000-07:00

This morning I was eating my oatmeal and reading about the names of God. So many names to describe different facets of who God is and how He displays those qualities when we need them the most. El Roi, the Lord our Shepherd. Alpha and Omega, beginning and end. Jehovah Shalom, the Lord our Peace. The name that is resonating with me this morning is Jehovah Jireh, the God Who Provides.

The God Who Provides. How blessed I am at the provision of God, especially over this past year. He has provides shelter at each location we have moved. He has provides me with a job in each place, earning enough money to make a dent in our loans. He has provided friends, a church family, even a dog at just the right time. We have never had to worry about food, or clothing, or medical bills.

We've been thinking about our impending move in October. With that comes a lot of stress. Saying goodbyes, setting up our move, deciding what comes with us and what needs to go with movers, cleaning, quitting jobs, looking for more jobs, not forgetting to cancel utilities. Do we have refills of medications? Should we live on base? Our the cars ready for snow? All at once it seems so daunting. But we follow a God Who Provides. He will continue to do so.

Our second honeymoon

2010-07-25T20:28:00.000-07:00

A couple of weekends ago we went on a great second honeymoon to Cayucos/Cambria/Paso Robles, CA. Here are a few of the pictures.

Life goes by so quickly

2010-07-20T09:07:00.000-07:00

well, here I am again. I don't know when last I posted, but it has been a while. Life flies by so fast these days. This past weekend my beautiful Ashley and I celebrated our one year anniversary with a second honeymoon up to Cayucos and Paso Robles. We had wine and cheese in a pretty garden by the sea in Cayucos and had the best coconut shrimp in the world at Linn's in Cambria (everyone should go get some). But I digress. We spent several hours of our time this weekend reminiscing of all the adventures we have had this past year. We remembered the good, the bad and the ugly. So much, in so little time. We spoke of our move to TX, our decision to drop out of flight school, seeing a bear while camping at Big Bend National Park in TX, going wine tasting with Stefan Kats in Fredericksburg, TX. We remembered our unfortunate travel "issues" on Christmas Eve (that was the ugly), and our night away at South Coast Winery. Oh, and lets not forget the Hyatt wedding, waiting anxiously to find out where we would be moving next and what job I would have. Then there was the move itself to CA, finding a new home, Ashley finding a job, and me waiting again. We reflected on the blessings God has given us in the friends we have made at Grace Baptist Church through a small group we just happened to go to, and the friendships the Air Force has forced us into. And then there were the trips to LA to see Sarah and Dan, Carsten and Becky, Ashley's family, Danica, and other friends. Oh, and our trip to Solvang/wine tasting for Ashley's bday, and San Francisco to visit Aunt Mary and Aunt Sue/family. Needles to say we also spoke of our unforgettable trips to FL for our wedding reception (back in Sept) and Thanksgiving, and our incredible trip to Europe. Can't forget those. Finally, lets not forget one of the more impactful occurrences of our year, the adoption of our poodle, Bella. Wow, that's a lot in a year...and...lets be honest...that was just scratching the surface. And yet, it has passed in the blink of an eye. This year might have been a day for all I know. It has flown by and I have held on, smiled, and prayed. Not much else to do I suppose.

Training here at Vandenberg is no exception to this rule. One minute I was waiting anxiously to start training for this new career. The next minute I was learning how to launch nuclear missiles. Before I know it Ashley and I will be packing up our home once more, driving away from Santa Maria and heading for a new adventure in the great white north. The reality of our impending move has hit me hard during the last week or so. Ashley and I have been blessed here, and it's hard to think about leaving. We've made friends here. We have a church here. We are close to family here. I'll miss it. I find myself facing the same challenges everyone faces when preparing to move. I ask the same questions: how do I spend my time, who do I invest my time and energy in, where do I go with the limited time I have? Of course, I've come to understand that these questions don't really matter all that much. The answer is really quite simple. Don't think about it. Just live. Be as intentional as you should always be. Invest in the relationships you want to and feel led to invest in...the ones that you would invest in whether leaving or not. So what if its harder to leave those friends. Better that then to miss out on what God has for you. Don't get caught up in your departure. Don't begin living for the next place. Live for the one your at now. Simple. If only it where eh? I guess well find out soon...

Back and Ready for Action

2010-05-16T15:08:00.001-07:00

Well we're back! We maneuvered the ash cloud, conquered the jet lag and at our way through Belgian waffles, chocolate, beer, cheese and crepes to make it back home. Zach is getting ready to (finally) start missile training on Wednesday. He still doesn't know much about the actual training aspect, but he's ready to start working towards something again. I got off to a rocky start at work, having some issues with my tax forms and not really getting clear communication from my boss. Blech. I love the two kids I work with though--both have very different manifestations of autism and will be interesting to work with.

We forgot we had planned to have our friends, Carsten and Rebecca, over this weekend and it was a wonderful surprise to have them visit us in Santa Maria. We had a full day of wine tasting at the Lompoc Wine Ghetto, taking Bella to Pismo Beach, and testing out our fondue again. It was a grateful reminder of the quality of friendships we have made over the years, and made us long for the same quality of friendships (the history, depth, etc) in our new surroundings.

The most EXCITING part of coming back has been picking up my vegetable basket from Babe farms. We will be getting a weekly basket for a few months and already we've had to figure out what to do with these vegetables that we've never bought or eaten before. Beets? Who eats beets? I guess now we do (and that guy down there)!

Update

2010-04-19T11:41:00.001-07:00

It's been awhile since we posted and there is much updating to be done!

First, we found out that Zach has been bumped from the July training class to the May class, meaning our stay in the Golden State will be shortened. Our "Report no later than" date for Malmstrom AFB, Montana is October 27. Zach will graduate on October 12 and it will be a rush of out-processing, canceling utilities, getting movers, etc. We even hope to turn our move into a slightly fun road trip and stop in San Francisco, Portland, and Seattle. Here's hoping.

Second, we have a long awaited trip to France and Belgium planned for next week. We had everything set to go but really didn't take in to account freak Icelandic volcanos spewing ash. If this whole thing doesn't clear up fast, we will not be able to go. We are preparing ourselves for the worst and are actually thinking of getting our plane tix re-routed to Orlando, Fl and going on a cruise. It's also very exciting, but not when you've been planning for Europe.

I have a job!! I am working one on one with children with autism. Breaking into new territory here and it's a little scary. Normally they hire psychology students working on their BA for this position, but they saw I had half of a Master's done and are giving me some harder cases. Please pray for me because I feel super inadequate for this role.

Lastly, we both ran the Run Thru Redlands Half Marathon this past Sunday. We ran it together two years ago when we had just started dating, so it was fun to do it again and see what has happened since then. It inspired Zach to start a commitment to train for the San Francisco Marathon in July (and I have started the commitment of THINKING about running the 1/2 Marathon) We'll see.

Oh, and here's the best birthday present I got this year. Happy 24th to me.

FONDUE NIGHT!!!

2010-03-28T11:53:00.001-07:00

The Spread: Cheese Fondue from the Pezzotta's recipe, apples, carrots, and bread!

Ashley's first attempt at homemade French Baguettes. It was yummy delicious and didn't last the day.

Zach's fondue! You rock!

Last night Ashley and I had our first Fondue extravaganza...and it was delicious! We can't wait till next time! (and now that we know how to make it, we can serve it to people)

The next bend

2010-03-15T07:15:00.001-07:00

Good morning all. It has been quite some time since last I posted on Ashley and my blog. It is not that I have not wanted to, simply that I have not known what to write. As I sit here this morning sipping my coffee next to my new, and already faithful, dog, I struggle with the fact that in an hourish I am off to work again. Since arriving at Vandenberg, I have been assigned to work yet another job where my days mostly consist of sitting and attempting to look busy so as to stay out of trouble. I feel like this is not the way hings are supposed to be. I have now been in the Air Force for a year and three months, and most of that time has been spent twiddling my thumbs waiting for something to happen. 6 months waiting to come on active duty. 9 months waiting for flight school. 2.5 months waiting to move to CA. And now 4 monthsish waiting to start missile training. Some days I really struggle with this. I wonder why I've even bothered. Why does God have me here, and why did he guide me down this road just to have me sit and wait? Why not direct me to be a teacher, or a missionary, or a pastor instead? Why a military man who spends his time trying to look busy.

Well let's be honest...I don't have the answers to these questions. Whether I like it or not, God has me sitting here again. He has had me sit for months, and despite what I may think is best for me, this is assuredly what is best for me. When I stop and think about the last few months...and the waiting...I think I do understand some of the reasons I have been made to wait. 6 months waiting...time to build a stronger relationship with the woman I was bound to marry. 9 months waiting...time to plan a wedding, get married, and have a honeymoon. 2.5 months...allowed me to arrive in CA late enough that I would not get bumped up in classes and be able to go to Europe like we so very much want to. 4 months waiting....we'll see. In the scheme of the next 40 years...or however much I work...these few months are really nothing. I am simply still young and impatient. Maybe that's what I'm supposed to learn.

Whatever the reasons...in the end I still have to go to work. Ciao.

Welcome Bella!

2010-03-10T16:47:00.000-08:00

After 7 months of drooling over dogs on Petfinder, Craigslist and whatever humane society that is nearest, Zach finally convinced me that it's the right time to get a dog. He found her on Craigslist from a woman who is spending too much time traveling for work and wanted to find a home where her dog wasn't in a crate all day.

Bella is 4 years old and comes from a long line of show poodles and her birth name (I kid you not) is Madame Pampadour's Chateau Marqaux. To us, she's just Bella.

Say hello!

Epic Mustache Fail

2010-03-08T17:15:00.000-08:00

With the final words "Say goodbye to the mustache" and a zip zip zip of the razor, the Big M was gone this morning. Zach could only handle 7 glorious days of the itchiness and patchiness. We will never get to know what a full blown mustache looks like on him...

Lets all take a moment of silence.

The final moments.

RIP

Mustache March

2010-03-06T17:50:00.000-08:00

The month of March marks a grand tradition in the Air Force in which males of all ranks, age, and ability to produce facial hair will grow a mustache. Zach, being compelled by social pressure and the fascination of his wife to see what her husband looks like "mustachioed" will join his fellow airmen in this endeavor. You can follow us on this adventure as we chronicle Zach's progress.

Day 5

Watch as all-American military boy Zach slowly melts into a used car salesman...

Just kidding.

Getting to know the neighborhood

2010-02-28T18:15:00.000-08:00

Zach went on a hike in nearby Los Padres National Forest

I think this speaks for itself

As does this.

The city of Lompoc has a ton of murals all over town. This is just one of them.

Ashley takes a stroll at a Lompoc park.

Our new home!!!

2010-02-28T18:05:00.000-08:00

Ashley likes to hang out at the top of our stair case

Our beautiful bedroom with a view...of other parking garages. But seriously, we love it.

Arguably the most important part of the house next to the bathroom...the kitchen. Small, but useful.

The kitchen is separated from the living room and dining room by an awesome island. We love it.
Our little living room. Ya, red chair!

1020 Henry Ave, Apt B, Santa Maria. Our new home.

We love our gnome...and yes, he's riding a pig.

Movin on out

2010-02-28T17:58:00.000-08:00

Zach and Ashley look contemplative in their empty house in Del Rio. Isn't it sad?

We spent one night in our very empty house after the movers packed up everything. Nothing like camping out in an empty house. Kind of creepy actually.

Unpacking

2010-02-23T13:05:00.000-08:00

We're HEEEEEERRRRRE. Yippee! 14 days after our original departure date we made it to Vandenberg. Three glorious days of driving in which my loving husband drove all but three hours of the trip so that I could take naps and rock the ipod. Not many husbands would let their wife play 6 hours of Broadway music on a road trip....but mine did :)

Since no one reads this blog anyway, I'm going to do I little bragging here. The Kushners are uber amazing unpackers. I would even venture to say that I am an Unpacking Diva. The movers left last night at 4:00ish and we have all of the boxes done except for Zach's books (and there's no way I'm touching those...) Now all we have to do is have it feel like home. Bets on how long that will take?

Vandy

2010-01-19T16:09:00.000-08:00

Is it okay if I call our new home Vandy? Vandenberg AFB sounds too stuffy.

Vandy it is.

Happy Trails

2010-01-17T18:18:00.000-08:00

The process of Zach quitting flight school in November is now culminating in a great big move back to California for him to receive Missile training at Vandenberg Air Force Base. It seemed far away when we had Christmas break wedged between the move and us, but now we have movers coming to pack up our house on January 29 and we are driving away from Del Rio on February 2. Its been exciting figuring out what Zach's new career field will be like and knowing that we get to go back to California where we are only a few hours drive from family and friends. For me there has also been some nervousness about the Great Unknown. When I moved out to Texas, Zach had already found a church, made connections, and figured out how to get us a house on base. Things were already figured out. Now it seems, a lot of things are unknown. We have our names on the housing list at Vandenberg, but nothing has opened up yet for us to move in to. We have prepared for the worst by reserving 30 days at the base lodgings...not the Hyatt Regency, but it will do. :) I've applied to a few jobs, but it's hard not to get discouraged and think "Who will hire someone who is going to leave again in a few months?" Even the process of finding a good church seems...well, daunting.

God has been so very faithful to us. Already, Zach's been able to contact some friends who have done the same training and find out more specifically what he will be doing for the next three years. We've met a few couples who are going to Vandenberg and even one who will be going with us to Malmstrom in Montana later. God is Sovereign and has our futures in His hands, but today has been a day of not really feeling that truth in my heart. Keep us in your prayers as we wrap up our lives in Texas in the next two weeks.

Not our best day ever...

2009-12-27T13:13:00.001-08:00

I have often heard it said that Christmas Eve is a terrible day to travel. Despite these reports, travel is what Ashley and I did this year...and it was not our best day ever. Here is a timeline of events leading up to our arrival in Redlands, CA:

4:30am: They day began with the wonderful buzz of an alarm clock, and would continue for nearly 21 hours.

5:15am: The adventure began as we left the house, closed the door, and instantly realized that we had just locked ourselves out of the house. Not that big of a deal as we have a friend staying with us who has a key (the problem being that this friend was back in CA with our key). Luckily, it was not until much later that we realized we had forgotten things. Oh well...none of the forgotten stuff was super important.

5:40am: We arrived at the Del Rio airport. Now for those of you who know nothing of Del Rio, it's airport is very much representative of the city. Though an international airport in name, do not be fooled. The airport consists of a small sitting room, a single check in desk for the only airline to fly out of Del Rio (Continental), one metal detector and tiny waiting room on the far side of "security," and a small snack room consisting of a coffee pot and a vending machine. The airport has two flights a day, and caters primarily to Laughlin personel trying to flee the town on what many call the "Freedom Bird." Moving on. Arriving at the airport we were greeted by several friends who were on the same flight, and quickly found out that the flight was delayed for 2 hours due to thunderstorms in Houston (all flights in and out of Del Rio go through Houston). We knew at that moment that it was about to be one of those days. This meant we would be missing our connection, and our entire travel plan was about to be null and void. Checking in, we were re-booked on a flight that would get us into LA only 3ish hours later than planned. Not to bad...or so we thought.

7:30am: We were informed that the flight was now being delayed due to mechanical problems, and that the estimated departure time was now 9:30. So up to the counter we went, to be re-booked again. This time, doing so was not so simple. Being that it was Christmas eve, flights were booked completely full. After about 20 minutes, the agent was able to finally re-book us on a flight that would get us into LAX at 8:04pm, meaning a 6 hour layover in Houston. As I stood there hearing this, I realized that this was going to be one heck of a day. But at least we were getting a free up-grade to First Class. Could be worse I guess.

I should pause here and tell you what our initial travel plan was so that you can understand why the next few hours were just down right stressful. The original plan was as follows: depart Del Rio at 0620, have an hour layover in Houston, followed by a flight to LAX; from there we would take a shuttle to John Wayne Airport and be picked up by my sister; my sister would then take us to Biola to pick up the truck we would be using for the duration of our time in LA. All in all a bit of a hassle, but it would get the job done. Unfortunately our delay through all of this off.

11:00am: We finally made it to Houston. Hurray. After grabbing a quick bite to eat, we headed for the USO (military lounge). From there we began to brainstorm how in the world we would get to Redlands from LAX. As noted above, the original plan relied on my sister being available to drive us to get our car. Unfortunately, my sister had plans with the in-laws for the evening, causing us to rethink our plan. After some brainstorming, we decided we could cancel our original shuttle, rent a car, go pick up our borrowed car, and return our rental...no harm done. So that's what we planned to do. Calling up the shuttle company, I found out I had made a major mistake...I had booked our shuttle for the wrong day, and they would not refund the money. Deciding I would call and deal with them later, I began calling rental companies, and after two hours on the phone with every rental car company at LAX we realized that this new plan was not going to work. Why not? There wasn't a single rental car to be had on Christmas eve. So now, plan C. Call up the shuttle company, and try to fight to have our shuttle changed to Christmas Eve night, and not have to pay again for a shuttle we didn't take. Spending about 30 minutes on hold, I finally was able to speak to a real person at Prime Time Shuttle. Speaking in a very rude tone, the customer service rep told me in no nice way that I was out of luck. I then asked to speak to a manager, and the person on the line made it clear I was bothering her, and told me to just go to the rep at the shuttle stop when I got to the airport and they would be able to change my ticket. Not really buying what she was selling, I called back 15 minutes later and after another 20 minutes on hold, was connected to another manager. This guy told me strait up (though in a much more civil and respectful tone) that there was nothing that could be done. By the end of this ordeal, Prime Time Shuttle lost my business forever. All this is to say, we ate the $40, and rebooked with another shuttle company.

8:05pm: We finally arrived in LA. We got our bag, hailed the shuttle and got a ride to Biola to pick up our truck.

9:30pm: Arriving at Biola, we grabbed our truck and headed for Redlands.

12:00am: After sitting in traffic for an hour of our 2.5 hour drive, we arrived in Redlands. Strait to bed for us.

So what's the lesson of all of this? Sometimes traveling sucks.

Best Friend Visit

2009-12-20T07:57:00.000-08:00

So, my lovely best friend made the trek out to Del Rio to visit us last weekend! I picked her up in San Antonio (a good excuse to get some shopping done in The Big City) and we spent the whole weekend just hanging out. She got the official tour of Del Rio, which means driving up and down the main boulevard, getting some Mexican food, and tasting wines at the Val Verde Winery. I loved having her experience what our life is like especially since she may be the only person to visit us in Del Rio before we move in February. Her visit coincided with the first night of Hanukkah, so of course we had to celebrate the occasion. Above is a picture of Zach manning the potato latkes.

As a special treat, she gave Zach and I a free photo session and edited the pictures the same day. Enjoy!

We know where we're going!!!

2009-12-16T14:43:00.001-08:00

We've been given our next location and before we let the cat out of the bag we have a few hints for you....

1) We will DEFINITELY be buying winter jackets before we move.

2) The movie The Untouchables was filmed here.

3) It's the location of the first UFO sighting "caught on tape" in 1950.

We'll let you know soon!

~Ashley

It's Christmas Time

2009-12-04T15:02:00.000-08:00

Step by step

2009-11-07T14:01:00.001-08:00

Those of you who have read my blog in the last few days are probably wondering what has happened since deciding to walk away from this pilot thing. Well, it's not really that long of a story. A bunch of paperwork and meetings later, I am now in limbo. This is not a place I normally like to be, but for once I have complete peace that this is all going to work out. Everything began on Monday with a meeting with my two flight commanders (who I report directly to). They decided they wanted me to have one more day to think things through (which I didn't need, but also didn't have much say about). On Tuesday morning I met with them once more and began the paperwork in earnest. I was pleasently surprised that neither of my commanders, nor any of my flight mates gave me much of a hard time about it. Most were understanding, and some were even proud of me for making such a tough decision (which definitely caught me off guard).

Part of this paperwork was my career dream sheet. As I began working on this with Ashley, I was reminded of the time three years ago when I was doing exactly the same thing. At the time I was incredibly torn about what jobs to put down (we are allowed to put our top 5 choices). Even then I questioned whether this was the route I wanted to go, but after a lot of thoguht and prayer I figured that I needed to give it a shot. It was a once in a lifetime opportunity, and I sure didn't want to look back and wonder "what if." I've always been afraid of getting to my later years and saying those words. Well, as you know, I got my first choice. And now I am here again. Looking at the list, and wondering how it is all going to work out. Well after some thought, discussion, and prayer we settled on putting intelligence as our first choice, and space & missiles as our second.

Now, with my paperwork submitted and meetings finished, it is a waiting game. Depending on how things go, I should know my new job within two weeks (this is of course Air Force time, which, for any of you who talked to me during the 9 months leading up to starting flight school know, could actually mean 2-4 weeks). At this time, I will hopefully also know where I will be going (what base) and when, though this information could take several more weeks to get to me. All told, if things go the way they have gone for most, we should be on our way out in in roughtly two months. We shall see.

A world upside-down

2009-11-01T07:15:00.000-08:00

Almost 11 months ago, I loaded everything I owned into my Nissan Xterra, and hit the road for Del Rio, TX. I had no idea what I would be getting myself into. I had no idea that I would be living in a little version of the town I grew up in (Bakerfield). I didn't know that in a couple months I would be engaged, or that I would meet my best AF friend the first day I showed up on base. I didn't know that I would drive close to 6,000 miles in the next four months, or that I would spend four of the hardest weeks of my life trying to learn how to fly in the AF context. I didn't know that I would get married. What I did know was that I was embarking on an adventure. And I was right. At the time I titled this blog "Adventures Make Great Stories," because I knew that many of these adventures would be challenging, and would, at the time, challenge me spiritually, physically, and emotionally as I had never experienced. But I also knew that those same adventures/challenges would leave me with stories I had never imagined. I was right.

Now, 11 months later, I consider calling it a day on one adventure, and embarking on another in which I have no idea what I am getting myself into. Many of you know that I have struggled long and hard with this whole being a pilot thing. I have more than once over the past 11 months questioned whether this is the "thing" for me. I questioned what I was doing here in TX, and desperately wanted to quit the screening program in CO (thank you to all who prayed for me during these times). When I completed the program in CO, I told myself that I would go ahead and give this flying thing here in Del Rio a shot. God had once again left the door open for me to walk through, and who am I to not walk through an open door? Well i have walked through that door, and now two months into the program, I am questioning whether this is where I am meant to be.

As my dad has pointed out to me many times before, God seeks to give us the desires of our hearts. Being an AF pilot has long been the desire of my heart. As long as I can remember, flying has been what I have wanted to do with my life. Being a pilot is what everyone sees me as, and it has been my goal. God has graciously allowed me to pursue this desire for years, but I am not so convinced it is God's end game for me. In fact, I am rather confident it is not.

This has been hard for me to grasp, and harder for me to consider it's implications. While talking about what the future would look like if I walked away from this opportunity, Ashley asked that I step back and really think about the things that I would be giving up were I to walk away. Agreeing to do so, I was forced to realize the gravity of such a decision. It is not that I had not thought about the many things I would be giving up before, but it was the first time I thought of them all at the same time. I though of walking into my commander's office and quitting, of turning in my g-suit and flight helmet. I thought of never walking out and strapping into another plane, of not pulling Gs, and of not standing outside in front of the planes a year from now in front of my family and friends having my wings pinned on. I thought of not waiting with anticipation to find out my aircraft and find out what type of mission I would be doing. I thought about not doing follow on training. I thought about getting to my base after here and seeing all the planes and realizing that I could have flown one of those. I thought of not having a guaranteed 10 year future in the AF, and the fact that in 4 years, I would have to face a lot of these same decisions again. I thought of the way my friends would react, and my family as well. I thought about all my pilot friends here who would ask me why in the world I would walk away, and how I would have to try to explain my decision. I thought about Ashley and how she would have to answer the same questions among the wives. I thought of leaving our home sooner rather than later, and having to start over from scratch after only a year. I thought about a lot of things, but I also thought of what the future would look like on the other side of the decision. On the other side was a future even brighter.

Let me paint the picture that I see. I see a future where I do not wake up each morning just praying to make it through the day, and nearly sick with stress because I so desperately don't want to fly that day. I see a future where I actually get to see my beautiful wife, and someday, our beautiful kids. I see a future where my kids don't forget who I am because I have been away from home for nearly 200 days that year flying around the world. I see a future where I get to use my gifts and lead people as an officer should. I see unique opportunities to serve my country (not that flying would not be a very unique opportunity...just different). I see peace that this debate that has raged within me for the last couple years finally be put to rest. I see a different type of graduation. I see getting to my next base and plugging into a new community, and getting to know a very different side of the air force. I see myself doing something I actually enjoy. I see myself leaving Del Rio with good memories, and with good times under my belt, but without regret. I see a future where I actually have the time and the energy to do the things I like to do. I see a life where my wife and I can get involved in our church together and serve together. I see opportunities to go where we really want to, and to do what we want to. If I am honest, I see much more light down this road than down the other.

(a day break in writing)

Well that is that. I will be posting more soon.

Mas aviones

2009-10-24T17:47:00.000-07:00

I test out the scary bucket seats in the C17. Ride for hours in that? No thanks.
"I can fit my whole house in this plane!"
Zach checking out the cargo hold of a plane.
Zach in front of a C130. Little trivia fact: if you want to sound like you know what you are talking about, call them Hercs (short for their full name, the C130 Hercules). Use it in conversation today.

~Ashley

Major Weapons Systems Day!

2009-10-24T17:36:00.000-07:00

Today was bring your wife to see the fancy airplanes day. Or not. On MWS day the pilots have a mandatory session where they hear from pilots of a variety of different planes the Air Force has. Afterword, you can go check out the planes, look in the cockpit, and ogle at those hunks of metal.

In case you actually would like to know the planes...here we go:

Top: Me in front of the C130. Right now Zach's plane of choice and a nice little cargo number.
Second: Zach with the C17, a cargo plane bigger than the C130. We got to see this one land. Big "oohs" and "ahhs" all around.
Middle: This is a PC12. No one knows what it does since it's top secret.
Fourth: The C17 landing...woot woot!
Bottom: The C17 again, plus some fighter planes in the foreground (but who cares about fighter planes...we don't!)

~Ashley

Family

2009-10-17T08:17:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since last I posted here, and much has happened. In all honesty I don't know where to begin. Classes, sims, camping, jet skiing, date nights with the wife, studying. The list goes on and on. Every time I sit down to write about my time here, I have a difficulty in knowing where to start. See, so much happens each week that by the time I have sat down to type, I barely remember what has happened. So this week, rather than providing a play by play, I will share just a couple experiences, and some thoughts I am having. Unfortunately these experiences are not very uplifting.

The first experience was a conversation I had with a classmate of mine while riding stationary bikes at the gym. While we were riding she asked me if Ashley and I had ever lived together before we got married. Needless to say I said we had not, and began explaining why we had chosen not to. As we talked, I was struck by a couple of things. First, I could not believe how many different justifications she tried to give to living with someone you're not married to. The second thing that struck me was a comment she made at the end. She said that she wished she had the convictions that I had about what marriage is supposed to be. I tend to forget that not everyone has the beliefs that I and Ashley have. And it broke my heart. As she said those words, I could see in her eyes a longing for truth. I could tell she really did want those convictions, and to believe. She wanted to believe that two people could be married forever, that they could love each other and trust each other. And, yet, something else wouldn't let her accept it.

The second experience happened last night. Ashely is back in CA for a week and so I went to the officer's club with the fella's last night for a beer. As I stood there I looked around and noticed that there were two types of guys there. There were the single guys who were in flight school (and the married guys whose wives were out of town), and there were the older higher ups. I asked around as to how often they come and was shocked to hear that these guys were here every Friday night from 6-11 or 12, just drinking the night away. What really struck me was the knowledge that these men have wives, and kids. They have families. They work 12-14 hour days (sometimes more), 5 to 6 days a week. And here they are at the bar rather than at home with their families. This bothers me, a lot.

So what makes me write about these two particular instances you might ask? Well the answer is simple. Being married makes you think about this family stuff a lot more. I am so so grateful for the family life that I have had all my life, and the example my parents have been. They have given me a great base for what it means to be a spouse and a parent. They have helped set the foundation for my convictions and beliefs. Having a family in this world is going to be an interesting endeavor.

My new skill set

2009-10-05T16:06:00.000-07:00

This post has almost nothing to do with pilot training.

Due to our remote location, the job hunt for me has not been very fruitful. Being so close to the border requires that I be bilingual for most town jobs and I have to compete with 200 other wives for all the jobs on base. Needless to say, I am branching out and trying out subbing while we are here. Today was my first day subbing for the public school system, and here are a few things I learned about first grade. Mind you, if I had a teaching certificate, I probably would have found this out sooner.

1. You should never let first graders sharpen their own pencils. Apparently this is a rule their teacher has but (to my chagrin) they remained quiet about. I discovered this when for about 20 minutes half the class was in line to sharpen their pencils. again. and again. If you are a first grade boy and feel like you have been working for more than 2 minutes, you should probably take a break and re-sharpen your pencil. And then you should get Miss Cushion to fix the sharpener because you broke it. Again.

2. Someone is always hitting someone else. Or kicking. Or poking. And then tattling.

3. You will spend the day walking around the room with no less than four children following you. I got a glimpse of what celebrities feel like with the paparazzi.

4. Potty breaks. "Didn't we just have a potty break 20 minutes ago?" Okay...fine.. "You have to go too?" " Wait a minute, the whole class can't go at the same time...hold on!"

It probably sounds like I didn't have a good time--Not true. I had a fabulous time. I'm just not used to being around so many children for an extended period of time and I've forgotten what it takes to keep them busy.

Please pray that I get some more sub opportunities on the horizon. That was my first, and last one scheduled for awhile unless something opens.

~Ashley

Airplanes and Paul the Apostle

2009-10-03T07:10:00.000-07:00

Well it's three weeks down, and three to go until I start flying real aircraft. I am glad to put another week behind us, and excited to keep moving forward. This week was a week of technical information, and a challenge to my very much non-technical brain. On Tuesday morning we began our study of aerodynamics, and I felt a bit behind from the beginning. What happened to reading and writing? At times I think to myself that I should have been an engineer instead of a history major. Then I took a week of aero, and now I know for sure that I was never meant to be an engineer. That stuff is hard. We tested on Friday, and I passed, though not as well as I would have liked to. Grades have taken on a very different meaning, and though I only missed three questions, it was definitely a little prick in my pride (which is probably a good thing). 3 questions you say? Ya, I know, but those three questions could count for something down the road. See, the way academics are scored here is on a curve where at the end of the year, all our grades are added up, and the person with the highest score gets 100 points. The lowest person gets 0 points. Even if there is say a difference of 10 questions missed during the whole year, the bottom person still gets zero. Sucks. Also, we went to our senior classes graduation on Friday before the test, and they handed out the academic award to the highest scorer. The dude missed three questions the entire year. That's three out of around 700 questions. Unbelievable. But oh well, I'm over it now.

So aero was half of the week. The rest of the week consisted of classes on emergencies in the aircraft and a sim. This is where Paul comes in. You know how in Romans Paul says "The things I want to do I don't do, and the things I don't want to do I do (or something along those lines)." Well thats what flying is kind of like. Now, I admit that I have not flown an aircraft yet, but if the simulators are anything like the actual aircraft, it is very true. At this point, the plane does not do what I want it to do, and does what I don't want it to do. Turn left. What does it do? Descends. How about climb? It looses all it's airspeed. Go figure. Flying the sim was a blast this week, and makes me so excited to get in the actual aircraft in a few weeks. It also reminds me how much I do not know yet. Good thing I've still got a couple weeks to get at least a tad bit more confident.

As time goes on, I'm realizing more and more that I don't think man was ever meant to fly. I know there is the old adage that if man was meant to fly, God would have given him wings. Well...I'm beginning to think it is true. First it's our neanderthal bodies. Let's just say that God did not build our bodies in such a way as to promote flying. Secondly, there is our neanderthal brains. I don't care how good you think you are at multi-tasking, flying takes way more multi-tasking then we are meant to do. Third is the whole law of gravity thing. We have to overcome one of God's laws of physics every time we fly. And that's just the beginning. Oh ya, let's not forget that to fly we need a big ol metal contraption that is always trying to kill us. And, yet, people still fly everyday, and do it well. They learn to overcome their neanderthal brains and bodies, gravity, and learn to deal with that big ol metal contraption they've strapped themselves to. In a strange way, knowing all this just makes me want to do it more. It's a challenge to overcome, and it's exciting. I don't want to make it sound like flying is defying death...it's not nearly that bad. We have great planes, great mechanics, and great instructors. But I am saying that taking this challenge is something I feel very proud about. Not many people are up to this task. I just hope I am. I am excited to be here. I also think they should pay us more, but that's another story.

Well it's Saturday, which is wifeday, so I am off to go on a walk. Please continue to keep my wife and I in your prayers as we come closer to hitting the flightline. God bless.

Computer assisted instruction is a pain

2009-09-26T06:36:00.000-07:00

Well it is now Saturday after my third week of UPT. Time here is flying so fast. It feels like yesterday that I began this whole adventure. We have now completed the first half of our aircraft systems lessons, and will be taking our final test on the subject on Monday. We will then be doing aerodynamics, flying fundamentals, contact (basic flying stuff), and 7ish simulators. All that is to say, I will by flying in 3ish weeks. CRAZY. As I'm sitting here thinking about what exactly I have to write, I'm realizing that this past week was actually kind of a bore. With the exception of doing our first simulator, which was actually pretty fun, I spent most of the week sitting in front of a computer having it teach me about the electrical system and the like. Not exactly thrilling, but I guess it will have to do for now. On that side of things, life will be much more exciting next week.

On a more personal side, this week presented some new challenges, namely getting used to the idea that I may not be the best here. I struggled with that a bit while I was at IFS as I sat there with a bunch of dudes who already had a bunch of flying experience, and am experiencing that once again. When I was younger and imagined being a pilot I never imagined I would be here with people who have more than a hundred hours of flight time, or already have experience flying aerobatics. I always kind of figured everyone would be there starting at zero, but that is simply not the case. And it's hard. At time's I wish I had studying engineering in school, or had been able to get my private pilot's license, or something along those lines, but when I really stop and think about it, I wouldn't change anything in my past. I loved studying history. I loved going to Biola (I did meet my wife there after all). It means that I am a little bit behind some of the other guys, but that is ok. I'm not about to quit. Rather, I am trying, and will continue to try, to use the resources I have in the guys in my class to become the best pilot I can.

3 weeks down...ish

2009-09-24T09:42:00.000-07:00

Well we have now finished (almost) our third week of flight school. It has been busy. Three tests, our first physical fitness muscle endurance test, hours and hours of computer based training, and a few hours of boredom later, I am ready for another weekend. Where do I even begin. Last week was a blast (everyone says it is one of the better weeks of UPT). We spent the week in aerospace physiology. We studied survival, physiology, and life support. We practice parachute landing falls, dealing with hypoxia in an altitude chamber, strapping into the T6 aircraft and emergency egressing (exiting the aircraft in under 40 seconds), experienced spacial disorientation in the barany chair (a spin chair), and did drag training (practicing disconnecting from a parachute that is dragging you across the ground or water). It was very hands on, and a lot of fun. Plus, the tests were not too bad.

Over the weekend Ashley and I headed up to San Angelo to visit my good friend Stefan who is going to intel school up that way. It was nice to get out of Del Rio for a little bit, and got to experience some civilization for a night. It was an adventure. In addition to getting some awesome Japanese food, we went to a button festival, arts and crafts show, and a really dingy mexican restaurant. To back up a second, yes, we went to a button festival. See, Stefan found it online, and thought it would be kind of ridiculous, so naturally we wanted to go. It ended up being in a church lobby. We walked in the door and brought the average age down by about 20 years. Sitting all around the room were a bunch of older (65+) women showing off their button collections. Now I am all for collections (I still have my dinasaurs, and coins from my childhood), but really...buttons? One of the ladies saw us kind of snickering and took it upon herself to introduce us to the world of button collecting. We learned so very very much. We saw buttons made out of bone, buttons made out of wood, out of ivory, and all sorts of things. We saw buttons worth 10 cents, and buttons worth $2000 (who the frick pays that much money for a button?). We learned that there is an annual national button competition (we are going to go). All that is to say, it was a once in a lifetime experience.

We then went to an arts and crafts festival (I must remind you that Ashley was a part of this adventure and definitely had a role to play in where we went...but lets be honest, it was the guys who picked the button festival). With regard to the arts and crafts festival, the only real thing worth mentioning is that both Ashley and I won something from a raffle they held. First time I've ever won anything...ever. I was pretty darn excited!

Well thats it for now. I will post about this week soon.

Unbelievable

2009-09-13T11:19:00.000-07:00

Well here is my first post during flight school. Can you believe that I am finally here. After all that has happened over the last year and a bit, it is unreal that I am finally here, starting flight school. As you heard from the wife, the first week was not exactly what I had expected. Rather than exciting and overwhelming, it was rather easy and slow. And, of course, rather frustrating as I was sick for the whole week. Though I am slowly recovering from my cold, it looks like I will have to deal with it for a few more days.

We have now completed all our classes on survival, and have our first test tomorrow. We have also begun classes in physiology, which is actually really interesting. We had an hour long course last week on the eyes, and I have been telling Ashley interesting facts ever since. This next week will be a long one, but a good one. In addition to our two tests, we will be doing our egress lab (meaning practicing getting out of the plane as quickly as possible), our O2 lab (not exactly sure what that is), the altitude chamber (where they give us hypoxia so that we can recognize the symptoms if it ever happens to us), taking our muscle endurance test, and sitting through hours of class. It's going to be a long week, but I think it will be a good one.

Of course, it is not all fun and games. I miss my wife already, and find it difficult to leave in the morning knowing that I won't see her again for 10 hours or so. I know that this is normal for a lot of people, but after having spent all day every day with my beautiful wife, it sucks having to be apart. And with my having been sick it was only worse. I see already that there will be many challenges to face in the coming months, but am encouraged by the knowledge that Ashley and I will be going through it together. Even with only one week done, I am sooo excited to go through this experience with her, and believe that it will challenge us as a couple, and help us grow in ways nothing else would. Ashley has already shown herself to be everything I could hope for, and has continued to be that pillar of encouragement when I am questioning the future, or when I'm sick, or stressed. God has blessed me sooo much, I can't even describe it.

Well that's it for now, back to studying. If you think of it, please be praying for us this week, and for health (Ashley came down with something today as well). We love you all.

Zach

And now a word from the Mrs...

2009-09-11T11:15:00.001-07:00

Today marks the end of the first week of flight school. Zach had a great start with a fever, congestion, and the whole gamut of not-so-good symptoms, but it looks like he'll recover ;).
The student pilots hit the ground running, already having a test on Monday on survival, getting out of your plane in an emergency (turns out that's called egressing) and probably more that I don't even know. As a spouse, I also have the privilege of learning the material, too as Zach likes to process the information he studies out loud. ("Hey Ashley, do you know the four types of bone fractures? Let me tell you..."). I might be able to fly too at the end of this!

The spouses were treated to their very own orientation this week. We were briefed by our husbands' commanders, got to try out the very fun flight simulators (I didn't crash!), and climb up onto the plane. The fun was mixed with a lot of warning though. We were told that our husbands need to eat, breath, and sleep pilot training. We were asked by commanders to have patience when our husbands can't give us the attention we were used to getting. We were told that Saturdays were to be ours with our husband, but other than that they should be dedicating themselves to studying. I can see that with the highs and joys of passing tests, having his first solo ride, and eventually completing pilot training, there is also going to be a fair share of discouragement, frustration, and failure. For those of you who read this, please pray that Zach and I might keep our priorities straight, that we maintain patience and communication, and that above all, we would lean on the Lord who is our unchanging Rock.

Pictures: (Top) My first time giving Zach a haircut. It only took 1 hour and 1 snip of the ear. (Middle) Zach's first day of flight school! (Bottom) Zach got his helmet, and it turns out to be a good protector when you're chopping onions.

And we're back...and married...and two weeks before starting flight school

2009-08-26T07:39:00.000-07:00

Ok...so to all you who actually read this blog (Dad), I am back. It's been a wild ride since last I posted, and life is about to get really crazy again. Hopefully I will remain faithful in my blog posting from here on out. I mean, lets be honest, the whole point of starting this blog in the first place was to speak of my adventures, and share what I am learning. Well, if my life is not an adventure now, it never will be.

To summarize the last two months...the wedding was awesome. Perfect actually. The honeymoon was awesome also. Coming from 105 degree del rio and spending a week on the central coast of CA is a truly great experience, especially with your wife. I mean, heck yes. Our drive out to TX was rather uneventful...just the way we like it. We did stay at a pretty great resort in Tucson (if you drive through, check out the Lodge at Ventana Canyon). The best place we stayed of course was in Ft. Davis, TX. After driving through what ended up being 90 miles of absolutely nothing, we got to Ft. Davis, a town strait out of a John Wayne movie. On the border of Big Bend National Park, the town has like 100 people in it. We stayed in this hotel that was built in 1909, and though it was admittedly a little bit creepy, it was well worth the trip. Plus, it is the most beautiful part of TX (at least of what I have seen so far).

Since arriving in Del Rio, life has been a whirlwind of activity. Ashley and I have moved into a cute little three bedroom duplex (three little bedrooms) on base which probably hasn't really been renovated since it was built in the 50s. We've been working like crazy to make it feel like home, and I think we've done an excellent job. Ashley has jumped right into this little world, joined a woman's bible study at our church, and has volunteered to do Awana there as well. The job search is ongoing, but Del Rio is a hard place for anyone finding a job. There looks to be some hope in the school district, specifically for Ashley to substitute teach. If you think about it, you can definitely be praying. Having a job will be particularly important once I start flight school, so that Ashley will not have to sit at home all day by herself.

Speaking of flight school...I start in less than two weeks. It is really hard to believe. I got my G-suit fitted, and my mask and helmet fitted on Monday, and will be meeting most of my class tomorrow. Then, on the Tuesday after Labor day, it all starts. I am both super excited, and absolutely terrified. It's a good feeling.

Well I think that's about it for now. If anything happens between now and two weeks from now I will let you all know, if not, I will post next once UPT starts.

20 days...holy moley

2009-07-06T10:06:00.000-07:00

That's right, I will be getting married 20 days from today. The last few days out here in TX have been absolutely fantastic. After not having seen Ashley in almost seven weeks, I am finally able to see her beautiful face in person again. Coming in Friday night, it was great to be able to spend Independence day with her, go to church, and get a bit of an idea what our lives are going to look like in a couple weeks. It's strange to think that in less than three weeks my life will be completely different...again. There has been so much transition over the past seven months, and now I'm finally getting to the transition I am actually looking forward to. Ya, there will be challenges, especially for Ashley as she goes through the challenges not only of transitioning into a new marriage, but also moving her entire life to Del Rio. Not exactly paradise, but it will be good for a little while. Over the past may months, the wedding has always felt so far away. It was 5 months...and that felt like forever. Then it was 10 weeks...still forever. Then all of a sudden it was a month, then three weeks. Now, all of a sudden, it feels just around the corner. We bought couches, and we are hopefully reserving our on-base home here today or tomorrow. It's all moving so fast, yet it's not happening fast enough. Those months before leaving for Alabama went so incredibly slow. It was January and February for a life time; March, April, May and June were but a blink in time. Weird.

Home sweet home....who would'ne thought?

2009-06-25T10:22:00.000-07:00

Well, I made it. On Monday I had my checkride at IFS, and somehow, by the grace of God, passed. I cannot even begin to tell you all the relief when at the end of the ride my IP (instructor pilot) asked if I had any more questions. I asked if his comments meant I could go home yet...he said yes. In that moment it was as if a giant weight was lfted from my shoulders. It was awesome. I'm still not sure how I passed, or how I made it through the course, but by the amazing grace of God I did just that. I am not back at Laughlin an jumping head first back into life here. Hope all is well.

Another week done...heading home soon

2009-06-20T16:55:00.000-07:00

Well, another week here in Pueblo is finished, thank God. This last week was a complex one to be sure. It was full of highs and lows. The highs were, well pretty freakin amazing. The lows, well they were pretty freakin sucky. This week was also full of firsts. I flew by myself for the first time. Whenever I say or write those words, it seems so surreal. Three weeks ago I had never been inside a small aircraft. On Thursday I flew one all by myself. Strang. This week was also a first in that I failed at something. Though of course I have failed at many things over the years, I have not failed in something of much significance in a decade. Over the last few years, whenever I have set my mind to something, I have been able to attain it. Whether that was in academics, ROTC, fitness, or anything else, I did not fail. Well on Thursday, following my awesome solo flight, I failed my second ride of the day. And it sucked. On Thursday afternoon, I was supposed to have my second to last flight, followed by my last one on Friday. Well that didn't happen.

During that flight, everything that could go wrong seemed to. Despite my ability to land 11 times earlier that morning, no matter how hard I tried that afternoon, I could not get the plane on the ground. With 13kt cross winds, all my efforts were to no avail. Then, when I got out to my practice area (where we do manuevers), I could not do them to save my life. Before we even got out of the plane back at Pueblo, my instructor told me I would be repeating that flight. It was a punch in the gut. I had tried so hard, and I had done my very best with every "landing" and every manuever, yet it didn't matter. My very best effort still resulted in a failure. For someone who is not used to such things, it is a very difficult pill to swallow. But, at the same time, it was a good. I suppose it is good to fail every once in a while. It is good to have something kick our butts, and it is good to be reminded that our best simply is not good enough. Only is our best through God good enough. That is an important lesson to learn. This was a good time to learn it.

On a happier note, I did redo the flight on Friday, and though I did not feel it to be my strongest flight since being here, my instructor (a different guy) gave me the best grades I've received thus far, and said I was ready for my check ride on Monday. So, God willing, I will be completing my final ride here in Pueblo on Monday, and pass or fail, I will be leaving here by Wed (weather permitting).

As I head into this final flight, your continued prayers would be much much appreciated.

A Day on the Mountain

2009-06-20T16:23:00.000-07:00

Frustrations and Prayers

2009-06-14T16:35:00.000-07:00

This will be my last post of the weekend, unfortunately. I say unfortunately because it means that in a two hours I need to be in bed so that I can wake up at 3:00am to get ready for my formal briefing at 0420 and my flight briefing at 0510am. That will pretty much be this week. Should be fun, no? I title this entry "frustrations and prayers," because in many ways that is what life right now is like.

The frustrations come out in a number of ways. Frustrations at not being able to do a good landing yet. Frustrations at being 3-5 flights behind most of my friends because I keep getting weathered out of flights. Frustrations that it looks like I will not get out of here for more than a week, when most of my friends will be leaving sometime this week. Frustrations at trying to give my all, but constantly feeling like I just can't hack it. Those kind of frustrations.

Prayers are the result of these frustrations. Or, at least, I am trying to make them the results. A friend back at Laughlin put it best. Before I came, he said this place will do one of two things to you. It will drive you to God, or it will drive you to beer. For most here, booze is the direction they go. For me, I refuse to go down that road. Thus, the option left to me is God, and I am glad for it. I would be lying if I said that every moment of the day I am laying all this at his feet. But I sure as hell am trying too. I don't like carrying this, and I don't like being constantly frustrated or upset. It just doesn't work for me. All of your prayers mean the world to me, and if it were not for them, I have no doubt I would have given up before now. It seems to me that it is all of you who have prayed me through the last six months. Through the difficulty of moving to TX, and through all the challenges that came from that. And now, it is you once again who are praying me through here. I don't know what will happen here in the coming week, but I do know that whatever it is, it will not be a result of a lack of petition on my behalf. It will be the will of the Lord. I am overwhelmed by the love and support of all of you, and am so incredibly greatful.

As I head into week number 3 of flying, your continued prayer and petition, grace and love, are appreciated more than I could ever express. I love you all.

Week two...and a little bit

2009-06-13T12:37:00.000-07:00

Well there she is, another week down. One or two to go, depending on weather, passing my flights, and all sorts of other stuff. It is hard to believe that I have only been here for a little over two weeks. In all honesty, it feels as though I have been here a lifetime. Days here go by slower than I could have ever imagined. I miss being able to talk to my love every day for an hour, and my parents, sisters, and friends regularly. I miss being able to relax when I come home, and being able to enjoy my evenings. Yet, I am glad to be having this experience.

It is hard to explain the things that are going on in my head and heart, and every time I attempt to put them into words, I find myself rather befuddled. How does one explain what it's like to feel discouraged every day? How does one put into words the million feelings that rush through one's mind and body as you attempt to try something you have never done before, all the while being overwhelmed by a feeling of impossibility. Fear of failure. Fear of inability. Fear of the future. Pride. Refusal to admit difficulty. Discouragement at not being able to do something even when you are doing everything within your power to be able to do it.

As many of you know, I have often found myself at the top of my class, and have rarely found things that I have been unable to do well. When I have found those things, I have generally quickly turned the other direction and left them in the rear-view mirror (ie: playing an instrument). But now, I am stuck here, doing something where not only am I not the top of my class, but rather I am struggling to stay here at all. And, quite frankly, I don't like it...not one bit. But, in all honesty, it's probably exactly what I need. I could not agree more with my big sis Amy. Sometimes we need to fail. Some times we need to struggle. Sometimes we need to be able to admit we can't do something, or be able to acknowledge that our best is barely enough to get by, or not enough to get by at all. There is indeed something to be said about bringing one's fears and failures to the Lord.

I said above that despite these trials, I am glad for this experience. Even writing those words seems kind of crazy to me. But it's true. I am glad because of the opportunities it gives me. It gives me the opportunity to once again place my fears, discouragement, and apprehensions at the feet of God. Actually, it's more like throw them at his feet, because if I don't I'll end up holding onto them. It gives me the opportunity to to rely on the support and encouragement of my friends and family. It gives me the opportunity to build perseverance muscle and do keep on pushing through even when I don't want to. This is difficult muscle to build, and it is only built through experience. It gives me an opportunity to break down my pride, and an opportunity for me to admit my struggles and challenges to those around me. It gives me an opportunity to fight for joy, and for peace, and for grace (from God, from those who surround me now, and from myself). These are all opportunities that do not arise during regular, everyday work. May God give me the strength to take advantage of these opportunities.

Flight numero 3

2009-06-08T17:51:00.001-07:00

Well there you have it. Flight numero 3 down...11 to go. First of all, I wanted you all to know that I really appreciate your love and support, and constant prayer. I do not know how this whole thing will end, but I do know that it is your prayer and support that is helping me be willing to get out of bed each of these mornings, and run head-first at the challenges I face. I flew again this afternoon, and to say that it was a rough flight would be an understatement. With challenging winds gusting up to 22knots (that's quite a bit), I felt as though I was fighting the wind god for over an hour. That, my friends, is tiring indeed. After many failed attempts at landings (which sounds kind of funny if you really think about it), and a bit of air sickness, I did manage to make it back to Pueblo, get my plane where it needed to be, and even get some dinner. Now as I head to go chair fly (that is sitting in a chair and pretending you are flying) I can only say that this is an unparalleled experience. When I went through field training (boot camp) a few years ago, I expressed how I felt as though it was the hardest thing I had done (and it probably was). I am still grateful for that experience, and the once in a life time lessons I was able to learn. I expect that this will be a similar experience. As I head into day two of week three, I say lets go. Whatever happens happens. God is in control. All I can do is give it my best tomorrow...and see what happens.

Week two: uh oh

2009-06-07T16:06:00.000-07:00

Well, I have now completed two flights here at IFS...and it is hard. The movies make flying look so easy, but it isn't. There are a million things going on all at once. You checking airspeed, altitude, listening to the radio, looking at your GPS, trying to follow ground tracks, and that is just for straight and level flight. To say that these two weeks have been difficult is just scratching the surface. It has been far more than hard. In fact, it made me want to quite. As you probably know, I am not a quitter. I never have been. But after two flights, that's exactly what I wanted to do. Thankfully, my fiance and then my dad gave me the wise advice they always do, why not stick it out. If you decide you don't want to fly, then you can decide it after you have completed this program. Why shut this door now when you don't have to. Maybe it will be shut for you if you end up washing out, or maybe it won't. Either way, what do you have to lose by plugging away for two more weeks. The answer, needless to say, is nothing. I'm afraid of failing. It has always been that way, and if I am honest with myself and with others, I should admit that I am really afraid of failing here. Yet, at the same time, over the past day, God has given me a real peace. The best way to describe this place is "whatever happens happens." There are no guarentees here. There is no way to know that you will pass. I have lost two friends to washing out this last week. Both of them intelligent dudes. There are no guarentees. But hey, maybe that's the way it should be.

WOw

2009-05-31T11:53:00.000-07:00

Ok, so it is Sunday afternoon (just barely) and I have been studying already for 4.5 hours. Today has actually been incredibly productive as I have not only studied test material, but also the local flying procedures, radio calls, call outs, and checklists. I spent about 2 hours this morning sitting in a mock cockpit running over checklists again and again and again. Oh, I'm going to get it. Can't wait. The more time I spend studying, the more I amazed I am at how much we can learn when we really put our minds to it. Anyways, enough for now. Back to studying.

Drinking from the fire hose

2009-05-29T15:41:00.000-07:00

Alright ya'll, here is my first post from beautiful Pueblo, CO. I arrived here on Tuesday evening, and have been going about a million miles an hour ever since. It is crazy to think about the last 48 hours. 22 hours of class, 8 hours of studying, and 2 hours of pt. Add in 50 min for each meal, and well, that's a wrap. Though I am definitely overwhelmed by the incredible amount of information that I have been given over the last two days, when I stop and think about how much I've learned, it's really incredible. I've learned about aerodynamics, aircraft performances, the DA-20 systems, radio traffic, airport operations, landing, taking off, flying patters, turns, checklists, weather, and all sorts of other stuff. Now, I am by no means an expert here, or will I be even by the time I'm done, but I sure as heck am trying. It's challenging, and it is hard when you're thrown into a position where you don't know virtually anything, but then again, I suppose that's where we grow. Well, I think that's it for now. It's time to go make some flashcards. Peace.

The Blue Kazak--Doing its business

2009-05-29T15:35:00.000-07:00

Carlsbad Caves

2009-05-29T15:33:00.001-07:00

PUEBLO HERE I COME 1

2009-05-29T15:12:00.000-07:00

To infinity and beyond...finally!!!

2009-05-23T12:45:00.000-07:00

Well it's time. After 12ish years of waiting to fly, I will finally be in the air in less than two weeks. Tomorrow I head to Pueblo, CO, where I will begin Introductory Flight Screening on Wednesday, May 27. It is really hard to believe that this time is finally here. As you may or may not have noticed, I have not posted on here in quite sometime, and though I'd like to think that now that I will actually have something to write about, I may actually start writing again, we both know that may or may not be true ;). I am going to try though. I have been waiting my whole life to be a pilot, and now, I will finially get to begin pursuing my dream. It's kind of weird to think about. It was this time last year when I finally graduated college, and almost a year ago that I commissioned as a 2LT. And now, this. Man has it been a crazy year. I graduated college, commissioned, moved to TX, got engaged to the love of my life, was tear gassed, and now, I'll be flying. All this in less than a year. Wow. It has been soo cool to watch God working. There have been many tough times, but he has carried me through it all. Now as I look at this new horizon, I am both incredibly nervous, and incredibly excited. All the fears about whether I will be able to do this and pass this are there...and so is the belief that God has brought me here, and the excitement to finally be doing what I'm sooo positive I'm supposed to do. Over the comming weeks I would appreciate your prayers. I will try to post when I have time. And will put on pictures if I have a chance to take them. Is the sky really the limit? I guess we're about to find out!

BAMA HERE I COME!

2009-03-22T08:07:00.000-07:00

Well another block of time here Del Rio is almost come and gone. On Friday I head out to Alabama for six weeks of training (ASBC). It is so hard to believe it is almost April already. Time here has been just flying by. When I arrived here in December, Bama felt a lifetime away. Now, it's less than a week. If I am honest with myself, I realize that I have begun counting time in little blocks to try and make it go faster (everything is a countdown to the wedding these days). Lets see. Five days until I leave for Bama. Then six weeks there, two weeks back in Del Rio, four weeks in Colorado, and then four and a half weeks until the wedding. When you look at it like that, wow, time will fly (God willing). As I push to finish up my classes in the next couple of days, I look forward to being free as a bird (at least in some ways) in just a couple of days. Finishing up these classes will be a huge load off. I feel as though I have missed out on quite a bit of fun and relationship building over the past two months because of these classes, and am looking forward to being able to spend time at ASBC, and then back here in TX with the friends that I've made before UPT starts. Alright, well I'm out of here to church. More later.

Update from the middle of nowhere

2009-03-16T16:42:00.000-07:00

It is hard to believe that I have been here more than three months. I don't exactly know what I expected of my time out here, but I can say most assuredly, I didn't expect what I got. I didn't expect to spend months sitting on my butt, or to continue to be unsure of when I will actually start flight school. I didn't expect to get two really good friends right out the door, or to be able to go back to CA every few weeks to see my lovely fiancee and my friends and family who are still out there. For that matter, I didn't expect to have a fiancee at all by this time. It was only three months ago that I left CA under the impression that it would be more than a year and a half until I was able to marry the girl who far surpasses anything I could have ever hoped for. Obviously God had other plans. He usually does. I have tried to avoid asking the "why" questions as much as I have been able to. They have been there of course, but God has given me an overabundance of peace regarding them. God's faithfulness has been, well, unbelievable. For a long time I asked why God would hand me a job where I have nothing to do. A job that I feel utterly unsatisfying and a job that I just really do not enjoy. Well, having been in the 84th for nearly three months, I can see, at least in part, why God would provide me this. During my time in that windowless copier room, I have been able to spend hours doing prep for Ashley and my wedding. I have been able to plan our honeymoon, research rings, photographers and DJs. I have been able to do HW, and to take off early on Fridays to catch flights back to CA rather than having to wait until Saturday. How cool is that? I'm sure there have been other "why" questions as well. But these questions need not overwhelm me like they used to. Because God is faithful. Everyday. Always.

Speaking of wedding planning, this past weekend was a whirlwind of exactly this. Cake tasting, food tasting, winery viewing, ring shopping, engaged couple class at church, tux renting, attempted marriage counseling (the guy canceled on us), song lists, and vow writing. Wow. I loved it. During this planning process, I have realized that despite the fact that normally I really hate planning events, I have found some real fun and enjoyment in doing this with my soon to be wife. I admit that I cannot wait for this part to be done and for July to be here. But I am also trying to enjoy this process as much as I can. I only get to go find a wedding location once!

For anyone who has not had the incredible privilege of meeting my fiancee yet, I want you all to know that she is the most amazing woman ever created (no offense to the other women out there :). She is absolutely perfect for me, and brings me such incredible joy. I am sooo grateful to God for his abundant blessing and this life changing gift. As I head to Alabama for the next six weeks, your continued prayer for Ashley and my time apart would be greatly appreciated. Talk to you all soon.

It's been a while

2009-02-22T14:36:00.000-08:00

So needless to say, it has been a while since last I posted on this here blog. I suppose the biggest news in my life is the fact that I am now engaged to the woman who far surpasses my dreams. I always imagined that I would marry the girl of my dreams. I never imagined I would marry a woman who far surpases those dreams. Now a week into our engagement, the fact that in five short months I will be getting married is beginning to settle in. Every time I think about all that has happened during the past year and a half, I am just blown away by God's incredible goodness. He has guided Ashley and my footsteps every step of the way, and has worked things together so that I can have no doubt whatsover that Ashley is the girl I am supposed to spend the rest of my life with. I, like every guy before me, was always concerned about how I was supposed to know if I had found the "one." Now that I have, I wonder how I could have ever worried about it. From sitting next to eachother in a class named "Money, Sex, and Power," to that first date, to the first kiss, to the move, to the engagement, God has guided us together. Who knew that when that cute girl in my bible class sat next to me I would be marrying her almost two years later? Who knew that when I had the guts to ask her out, twice, I would be asking her to marry me just over a year later? Who knew that my move to TX meant waiting only 7 months until I got married, instead of almost 2 years? God did. And I have no doubt in my mind that he orchostrated it to be exactly the way its been. Now I cannot, I say again, CANNOT wait for July to come. I keep remarking that I am going ot make a paper chain for this. I am actually seriously thinking about it. With two and a half months of training between now and July 26, this time is going to fly by. God willing, before I know it, it will be July.

Besides that, life in Texas continues on without too much to speak about. Between work, classes, and now wedding planning, I keep myself busy. In fact, I have very little free time to speak of. Taking 3 half days a week for classes, plus leaving early the other two days to go to the gym, my weeks go by fairly quickly. Mom and dad come out in a week and a half. Three days after that I head to CA for four days, then back for two weeks and off to Alabama for some actual training. Can't wait. 8 weeks later I'll be in the air for the first time. Hoorrrahhhh! Thank you all for your prayers. I can't wait to hear from some of you soon.

You Know You're In Texas

2009-02-07T11:13:00.001-08:00

Chillin in the lion's den

2009-01-25T19:06:00.000-08:00

42 days, 5 hours, 10 min, 18 sec. That was how long ago I left CA. No please don't mistake my knowledge of this info as me counting the days every day. I know this merely because I know that I left at 2pm on a Sunday 7 weeks ago. But man, what a seven weeks it has been. Where do I even begin to write about the lessons that I have learned during these weeks. I have, in previous posts, written about many of the things that God has taught me. He has not stopped. Not even close. Rather, God is using this time in my life to force me to grow. I commented to my mom the other day that I feel like I have grown more and matured more in my faith in the last seven weeks then throughout my four years of college. As I thought more about this statement, I realized that though this is probably not the actual case, it does seem that way. At least I feel as though I have grown more in my walk with God in this short time then in any other point in time of this length.

One of the greatest lessons that God is teaching me is the need to bow to him every moment of every day. When I say this I don't mean merely submitting to his lordship and declaring that I will allow him to lead me each day. I mean something much more than this. Such declarations have been common in my life up until this point. Rather, I mean a total submission to God in every aspect of your life. I mean crying out to him to take control and to lead you because you simply cannot lead yourself. It is the recognition in every moment that it is God's hand that is working and that it is God's hand that brings you through. It is waking up in the morning and having the humility to say that you can't make it to work without him. It is making it to work and declaring in truth in your heart that you cannot make it to lunch without him. It is admitting your own weakness and realizing that it is in God alone that your strength exists. I would not venture to state that I have yet achieved my goal of dying to myself daily and living in Christ, but I can say that I know now how crucial doing so is, and that I know each morning the necessity of striving for such a thing. And striving for it I am. Dying to ourselves so that we may live in Christ is not just a statement that we make each morning. It is an action which we commit every moment of the day. I thank God that he is teaching me this.

I have remarked to people on several occasions lately how hard some of this transition has been. And it is true. It has been hell. But it has been good. I would not trade it. I would not trade it for anything. I feel (like my title indicates) a little like I am chillin in the lion's den. What do I mean? I mean that I have already been tossed in, terrified but trusting God, and God has been with me all the time. But I have not been pulled out of the den yet. I am still here, chillin with the lions, but protected and just waiting. God is always faithful. The end.

It's been a while

2009-01-20T19:24:00.001-08:00

Well it has been a while since last I posted on this here blog. There is no real good excuse for this beyond the fact that I have not felt like writing as of late. The title of this blog is Adventures Make Great Stories, and I have had few adventures over the past couple weeks. My life out here has been, well, mundane. I would be lying if I said that I did not mind this. In fact, I wish I had grand adventures to share with everyone. But seeing as this is not the case at the moment, I will share with you the few things that I have "done" as well as the lessons that I am learning (or being force fed).

Besides working out, reading, getting sick, buying snacks, watching Firefly, and picking up the mail, my weekdays consist of very little. I began to learn over the six months that I worked at Biola how little time one actually has during one's day when at the office from 8-5. By the time I get off work, go to the gym and eat dinner it is nearly 9pm. The weekends is the time for fun and the time for hanging out in earnest. I have been truly blessed since arriving here with people to hang out with on the weekends and having my time filled.

During the past two weekends I received a true indoctrination into Texan culture. First, I went to Club Ariba. There exists in Del Rio two "clubs," if they can be called that. The less sketchy of the two is Club Ariba. So how can I describe this place. The building looks from the outside like any typical grocery store (ie: it is located in a little strip mall). When you walk into the building several things smack you in the face. First, the entire place is a big cloud of smoke. Second, there are a lot of cowboy hats. Third, there are only three types of people present: 1) old slightly overweight Mexican men, 2) very overweight Mexican women, & 3) Airforce guys. Forth, there is a small dance floor. Finally, there are two bars, two or three pool tables, and a bunch of tables around the outside for people to sit at. Sufice to say, if you're into people watching and don't mind loud Mexican music (intermixed with R&B) and lots of smoke, this is the place to do it. Lets just say it is not a place to bring your kids, but it is definitely a "must see" down here.

The second indoctrination to Texas was my trip to Mexico the following day. Great food, dump of a town. Enough said. If you are looking for a tasty meal on a budget, this is the place to go. If you're looking for anything else, I advise a pass. On the other hand, the flea market that is on the American side of the border just before the border crossing is a must visit. It is here that you can buy anything your heart desires. You can buy tires of every kind, sadles, broken exercise bikes, tee-shirts, half colored in coloring books, a cup of coffee for 25 cents, or a one-eared stuffed dear head to spice up your living room wall. I will leave it that. My friends and I decided that the flea market was indeed more sketchy then the Mexian town across the border, which is saying something.

The final indoctrination I received was this past Friday night at Cowboys Dance Hall in San Antonio. It was like nothing I had ever seen before. The Dance Hall was a giant warehouse turned western dance studio. The outside is decorated like the West. Inside there are 6-10 bars along the walls. THe middle of the building consists of a humongous dance floor (maybe 300ft by 150ft), and a large stage. The real kicker is in the back of the building. Anyone want to venture a guess? Bull riding. Every Friday, 8:30 and 10:30. Real bulls. Yes, that is correct. The back of the building consists of a rodeo ring/field (whatever its called), some bleachers, and a section for the bulls. Indoors. Where else in this great nation can you find such a place. The people watching alone is worth the $8 cover charge. Unlike Club Ariba, Cowboys has a wide range of fellows. They've got the nerdy cowboys, the want-to-be cowboys, the real "I rustle cows in my free time" cowboys, the Mexian cowboys who all stand in a line with their left hand in their pocket while throwing back a beer with their right, the guys who don't even try, the old people who actually know how to dance, and the young people who definitely don't. I guess it's true what they say. Everything is big in Texas.

Well I suppose that that is enough for your reading pleasure at the moment. I will be back tonight or tomorrow to share with all of you about the lessons that I am learning. It is these lessons that will matter in 20 years, and I hope to share them with all of you.

one month and counting

2009-01-08T18:28:00.000-08:00

It is hard to believe that it has already been a month since I arrived here at Laughlin. The world spins and time moves forward whether we like it to or not. In this case, I could not be happier. As I continue in this time of purgatory (for that is what I have come to view it as) I have had many an epiphany. One of the greatest of these is the role of hope in our lives. Without hope even the smallest tasks are impossible. Getting out of bed, eating, sleeping, cleaning, and going to work take all the energy you can muster even though they are as simple as they come. Why is this? Why does a life without hope seem utterly meaningless? I believe the answer lies in the essense of what hope is. Hope is not the little light at the end of the tunnel, as it is so often depicted to be. No, it is something far greater. It is the hand that grabs us kicking and screaming and drags us towards the light at the end of the tunnel. Hope is not the light; it is how we get to the light. You can see the light at the end of the tunnel and still give up and quite. I know. As these weeks have passed I have not had any problems seeing the end of the tunnel. I know the exact date that this purgatory will be over. Sept. 8, 2009. But that is hardely enough. Seeing a light 9 months away does me little good.

Hope. I bear hug it every moment of every day. I refuse to let go of it. Where does that hope come from. I have realized that it comes ONLY from one place. That place is God. Only God can make things work out. Only God can bring things to fruition. Only God can ensure that I will make it to tomorrow, or the next day, or Sept. 8. Only God. If there is no hope to be found in Him then the world is damned and this life is hell.

Even as I find my time here getting better almost daily it is my hope in God and his goodness that gets me out of bed each day. It is my hope for the relationships he has for me. It is my hope for the work he has for me. It is the hope for the witness I hope to be. It is hope for the present and for the future. It is hope for that day when I call this podunk down home. It is hope for the day when I can wake up and feel confident in myself here. These hopes are the hand that guides me and forces me to take another step.

I pray for each of you reading this that God can teach you to find hope in him as I have learned to. It is a hard lesson, but one which I would not change for the world.

My mission...right now

2008-12-29T19:12:00.000-08:00

One of the things I have found really difficult in being here at Laughlin is being overwhelmed with the feeling of uselessness. Though I do know that in nine-months time I will be beginning UPT, and in doing so truly beginning to pursue my career, I feel now as though I am in purgatory. And that is really hard for me. As most of you know, having a mission is essential for me to be content. That mission can be anything really. Here I have thus far felt as though I have no mission at all. As I have been struggling with this I have realized that the reality is quite different from how it feels. I do have a mission. In fact, I believe I have several missions. I have the mission to be patient and to wait. Though it seems like my entire life has been waiting for pilot school, that time is almost done. It is my job to wait for Sept 8 to come. Tied in to this is the mission to be faithful. I have a mission to be faithful to my God, my family, my friends, and my country. God has me here waiting, and I will do my best at everything I can while I wait. If that means keeping the snacks stocked, then that is what I will do. If that means sitting and watching dudes dig holes, then I am called to do it with vigilance, as ridiculous as that may sound.

My second mission is to learn to use my time wisely and to get involved now, while I have the chance. Though I should have a better idea of how this can be played out after meeting with the pastor at the church I have begun going to, I know already that my decision to get involved will make all the difference in the world during these nine months of purgatory.

An LT's first Christmas

2008-12-29T12:06:00.000-08:00

What can be said about my first LT Christmas? Life has changed; of that I am most assured. During the past several days I have remarked on separate occasions to separate people that I feel like my childhood is at an end. I am shedding my last vestiges of innocence and childhood. At least that is the way it appears. I have the beginnings of a career, I now call Texas “home,” I get paid real money, I only have so much vacation time each year, I have bills to pay and retirement to think about. These are not the things of children. They are the thoughts and actions of adults. When we are children we are so very eager to be adults; as adults we wish we could be but children again. But these are just the musings of a guy who hasn’t slept a lot lately. Back to the subject at hand, Christmas.

According to the family poll taken, this was undoubtedly the best Christmas thus far. It wasn’t because of all the great presents (though there were definitely great presents). It wasn’t because of awesome food (though the food was truly fantastic). It wasn’t the advent celebration. It was that we were all together, in the same place, for just a moment in time, and we all cherished it. As many of you know, my oldest sister moves to Kuwait on the 29th of December, 2008. Two days before that my parents and little sister flew to Europe for two and a half weeks. The day before that my second sister returned to CA with Chai. In a matter of three days my family scattered to what might as well be the ends of the earth. But we had those 24 hours together, and none of us will forget it. At least I know that I won’t. I will always remember sitting there around the patio table having breakfast outside on Christmas day (where it was like 80 degrees). I will always remember lounging around in our PJs and going to sit in the family room to open presents. I will always remember my first Texan Santa experience, sitting there as Santa, wearing both cowboy had and santa-hat. I will remember how excited my mom was by the fact that I followed in her and dad’s footsteps in my gifts. I will always remember going around the circle and spending 4 hours opening presents one by one. I will always remember sitting around the advent wreath that evening and singing Christmas carols; and I will always remember how mom made each of us our own wreaths for our own homes.

And as that day came to a close, I will always remember how we came together as a family in prayer. In fact, I will remember that probably more than anything else during my trip to FL this Christmas.

I hope to remember one other thing. I hope to remember the longing I felt, and still feel, for the coming of the Kingdom of God. We as Christians are called to long after heaven. I have never longed so deeply for the Kingdom than I have the past few weeks, and especially the past few days. I long for a time that I need say no more goodbyes. I long for the day that my family and my friends need not pray me off. I look forward to the day when it won’t hurt so badly, the day when it won’t hurt at all. Oh that God’s Kingdom will descend quickly. Can you imagine that day? Can you picture it? I can. It is a great feast. My family is there. My friends are there. My love is there. God is there. Joy, peace and love are there. Pains of the heart, the greatest pains of all, are gone. It is a glorious scene indeed. Heaven. The Kingdom. God. What more can we want? What more can we hope for? Nothing. It is here that I find hope and here that I can rest in day after day. When the sorrow or the hurt seems to great, I can find everlasting hope in the everlasting God and the hope for His future for our world.

Oh I am a man of little faith indeed. How many times must God remind me that he is faithful, that he is loving, that he makes strait my paths? Time and time again I suppose. Thank you God for continuing to show me despite my disbelief.

A Great Blessing...Christmas in Pictures

2008-12-26T14:51:00.001-08:00

A day in the life of a Casual student

2008-12-23T16:52:00.001-08:00

Yesterday I was truly an American Warrior. What was it you did, you may be asking. Well, how shall I put this best? One may say I was working base security, helping coordinate contractors in a way that would not only keep our airmen safe on the ground, but in the sky. One may also say that I spent an hour and a half watching for contractors dig a four foot deep hole, only to sit for another hour while the contractors stood in the cold looking into the hole and wondering why the cable that was supposed to be in the whole wasn't there. We then continued to sit in our truck and watch as these same four contractors then filled the whole back in and prepared to leave for the day.

As you may have noticed, the above is a bit more of tongue and cheek. Since arriving here at Laughlin I have realized that having a sense of humor is an essential part of surviving in the middle of nowhere and as a Casual student. There are so many random jobs to fill here and over 120 of us 2LTs with nothing to do. Who better to sit in a truck and watch contractors work away then us? It is made more tolerable by the knowledge that this will probably be the only 9 months for the rest of my life that I have the opportunity to be bored. Guess I will volunteer at church and start working on my masters.

Del Rio...through my eyes

2008-12-21T15:54:00.000-08:00

Backing up a little bit

2008-12-20T19:49:00.000-08:00

When I look back my three days to Del Rio, I have no doubt that I will happen upon an wide assortment of feelings. Pain, sorrow, sadness, joy, hope, and excitement. These are among the feelings that I will remember. It has now been almost a week since I drove out of Los Angeles. Doing so was, perhaps, the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. As I climbed into my car after having said goodbye to Ashley it was all I could do for three days to put my foot to the pedal and keep driving. If I stopped it was only to get gas. If I ate, it was only to keep myself from fainting. When I slept, it was to escape what seemed to be pure darkness surrounding me. It is difficult for me to explain what the three days of travel across the desert was really like. When I pulled away from Ashley’s house, I was leaving everything I knew for everything I had not the slightest idea about. Not only was I leaving the love of my life, but I was leaving my oldest and dearest friend, my sister who took care of me for my four years of college whenever I was in need, my first brother, the little sister I had just started to get to know again, my school (which despite my lack of pride in, was my home), the church I had just started to really enjoy, the apartment I had grown to love, the birds I had grown to tolerate, the city I had begun to call mine, and, let us not forget, my favorite coffee shop. When I drove away, as far as I could see, blinded as I was, I was loosing everything. And what, was I trading these things for? The unknown. Transition is difficult. Transition when you haven’t the slightest idea what awaits you at your destination is near impossible. At least that is what I found out.

Never in my memory have I hurt so badly as I did those first three days of desert driving. As mile after mile stretched by, I now see that I was fighting a battle every moment. The battle was between myself and God. It was a battle of Wills. It was my pain versus his comfort. My fear versus his power. My disbelief versus his glory. My selfishness versus his love. The strange thing is that though my Will seemed to fight God’s, my soul was on his side. Not a moment of time passed during those three days that I was not crying out to God, that I was not searching after him, that I was not falling on my face in front of him and asking that he raise me up. In the words that follow, I wish to share with you (and myself) not a story of hell or pain and sorrow, but a story of hope.

There were moments during those days that I can only explain as God having been with me. Even then, as I drove I recognized it. I want to write about two of them so that I will not forget them. The first such moment was on the second day of driving. As I drove through New Mexico (or at least I believe I was in NM by the time), I recall pleading with God. I remember sitting there, asking God why this had to be so hard. Why can’t you just give me the comfort I’m begging you for? Why can’t you just take away the pain? Why can’t you just let me see how this is all working out? As I began to cry, I felt this wave come over me. I do not want to say that God opened up the heavens and started speaking in an audible voice, but it might as well have been. The image that came to my mind at this time was one of God standing there, crying with me. As I sat there in the car, God leaned over and put his hand on me. As tears ran down His own face, he told me that he knew this hurt. He knew that this pain was excruciating. I could see in his face that it grieved him terrible to see me as I was. But then he said something that surprised me even more. He said that I must endure. He said that though this was hard and the pain seemingly unbearable, it was all part of his plan, and that I had to go through it. We live in a fallen world, and this pain is part of this fallen world. There was something in that moment that led me to believe and understand that this pain was part of the process. Dad reminded to me once, during one of hundred or so talks during my drive, that it is darkest just before the dawn. In this moment I could see the darkness beginning to reseed, and the light to appear on the horizon. This is not to say that at from that moment forward everything was hunky dory. In fact, this could not be further from the truth. What it does mean is that in that moment, I knew that every inch of the way, through every trial and tribulation, through every frustration and fear, God was there and would be there. And that must never be forgotten.

The second instance occurred during the last 150 miles of my journey. I have traveled much of the world but I have never seen anything such as this. It was, in fact, 150 miles of complete desolation. There was nothing. It was flat, dry, dead, and dead. There were dry creek beds and dead plants. There were occasional abandoned buildings standing in the middle of the desolate fields. It was perfect. For the first time during my three days of driving, I was alone. Utterly alone, except for God. I could not call Dad or Mom. I couldn’t call Amy or Sarah or Danica. I couldn’t call Ashley. It was me and it was God. Nothing to interrupt. Nothing to distract. And I spoke to God more clearly and intentionally than I may have ever done before in my life. It was, for lack of a better word, incredible. It was a time where I could thank God, despite not feeling overly thankful at the time, for everything that he had given me: for my family who was praying me across the country; for my girlfriend, who got dropped into my life out of nowhere and helped carry me during these days; for allowing me to do the job I have always wanted to do, even if I still have to wait a little while; for the friends who will continue to stand by my side no matter where I am; for the grace he was pouring on me; for the grace my friends and family were lavishing upon me; for allowing me to go home for Christmas and California for New Years. I thanked him in faith for the new friends he has been preparing for me; for the housing situation he was preparing for me; for the job he would have for me here at Laughlin; for the pilot wings I would eventually get. It was a highway of thanksgiving; one hundred and fifty miles of praise.

So why share all this? Why tell you who happen to read these words what happened during those days? The answer is simple. I do it to share a story of untold grace and mercy. I do it to share a story of love, friendship, parentship and siblingship. I do it to share the truth with you who were involved directly or indirectly in the process. I do it because I want you to know God is Good. He is the King of Kings and the Prince of Peace. He is our Rock. He is our Comforter. He is the Mighty Lord. He is our Shepherd. He does not grow weary. He hurts with us. He loves us. He died for us. He saves us. He prepares the way for us. He will never give us more than we can handle when we put our trust in him. He was and is and is to come. He is God. You did not let me forget it. I promise to never let you forget it either.

That's two down for the count

2008-12-20T19:48:00.000-08:00

Time goes by so quickly, yet it drags on as well. It has now been almost two weeks since I left and a week and a half since I arrived here at Laughlin. I have now completed my first full week here at Laughlin and it all seems a blur. This is my life. No getting around it. But it doesn’t really feel like it. It is as if I were standing a thousand feet above and watching as Zach Kushner lives his life. It is as if each day is a lifetime in and of itself. This past week has been like so many in my past with its highs and its lows. I remember talking to mom and dad at different points during the past couple weeks and both of them saying that at some point the tides would turn here. At some point the highs would begin to outnumber the lows. At some point I would cross that line in space where I would begin to feel at home here. What I cannot believe is that I think I have crossed that line already. After wrestling day after day with the fact that this is where I am at, I had a moment a couple days ago where I could just feel like I was actually here. What got me to that point? Who knows.

I was given my “day job” this week. Want to know what it is? Are you excited? I know I was. The reason for my excitement is, well, understandable. Here was yet another unknown becoming known. Well, I have been assigned to the 84th Flying Training Squadron. I have been given the job of Executive officer. At least that is the title. In reality I am protecting America one diet coke and one Twix candy bar at a time. At the moment, my sole responsibility is ensure the snack room (or Zach’s Snack Shack) stays stocked on all those scrumptious goodies that keep our nations AF pilots full and satisfied. Other than that I sit at a desk and help out whenever someone needs a TV power cord to be found or an errand run. Though it is not exactly the most exciting job in the world, I have decided to make the most of it, and be the best snacko (snack officer) the 84th has ever had! If I am totally honest, it is rather disappointing, but I know that God will use it to His glory. Having this job should give me the opportunity to begin taking classes for an MA program or working on language learning via Rosetta Stone (which AF personnel have free access to). We will have to just wait and see.

Coupled with my duties as snacko, I have been voluntold for one other duty here. I am an escort. Now, despite Sarah Kushner’s snide remarks, this job is a respected position. I am a true American warrior. Ok, really, I sit in a truck for 4 hours and watch contracted workers do construction. So here is the deal. Whenever contractors come onto base they must be escorted to and from the work site by AF personnel. It’s the rule, and who better to do it then a bunch of 2LTs who graduated top of their class and are sitting around waiting to do the coolest job in the world? The answer that question is: there’s no one better than those 2LTs to do the job. It’s actually pretty chill. You drive back and forth a quarter of a mile a dozen times and other than that just sit and chat with the other guy who is with your or read a book. Not a bad job considering the pay….and the benefits. I mean, it gives me full health coverage! Not bad at all.
Despite the obvious sarcasm in some of the lines above, my time here is going really well over all. The people here are fantastic and I am slowly but surely making friends here. There is a winery down the road and tons of great BBQ and Mexican food. There is a state of the art gym, racket ball a plenty and one coffee shop. Each day I get to see T-6s, T-1s, and T-38s buzz around all day. And I get paid like a real adult. Pretty sweet gig. With the holidays coming upon us quickly this is a low key time here at Laughlin and it will undoubtedly pick up after the New Year. For those of you I will get to see in FL or CA in the next couple weeks, I can’t wait. For those of you I don’t, I will miss you. And for those of you who I owe a phone call to (I may or may not know who you are), give me a call, I’d love to chat! I love you all.

Some pictures of Laughlin...not taken by me

2008-12-18T14:55:00.001-08:00

For all of you who are wondering what the great Laughlin AFB looks like...here you go

2008-12-17T19:48:00.000-08:00

If anyone is wondering, I have begun to set up my very own coffee bar in my apartment kitchen. Though it is still in need of several things, including a kettle of some kind, more coffee filters, more coffee, and little American flags to put in every drink, it is well on its way to being the most important thing here on base.

One Week...and counting

2008-12-16T15:34:00.001-08:00

It has been one week and about 30 minutes since I rolled into Laughlin AFB. In some ways it is hard to believe that it has only been a week since I rolled in, ready to pee myself. And yet, this week has all but flown by. It is in fact a blur. One week ago I knew absolutely nothing at all. Now, I have a place I have pretty well settled into, at least two guys who I would call friends, food to eat, beer to drink, an idea where most things are here on base, and a general feeling for Del Rio in general. I have been kayaking on the Rio Grand, been to a new church, eaten at Harold’s, and picked a place that I will undoubtedly be a Sunday regular at (I haven’t the slightest idea it’s name, but it has GREAT breakfast burritos). I’ve gotten used to showing up in the transition office, and I’m beginning to recognize people. I’ve started to get a feel how things around here are supposed to function, will hopefully get at least some money by Friday and have three trips out of here already planned, with a fourth in the working.

Not only this, but now, one week into this new adventure, I finally had a moment of excitement about being here. I’m excited to get into an airplane. I am excited to learn how to fly. I am excited about the relationships God will give me. I’m even excited to get going on my “day job” here, go to ASBC and IFS. I’ve been here a week, and I am pretty much done with my in-processing junk, having only a seven hour mass brief on the 23rd. The fact of the matter is that as of right now, I do not have any great stories to share with people. I am not flying; I’m not even working. The most exciting thing to have happened was going kayaking on Saturday. Putting off down at the Pekos river, we ventured down into the Rio Grande, and from there headed to a “cave.” Now, when I was told that there was a cave I had an image in mind. I would pull up my boat and hike up to this little entrance somewhere above me. I would walk in and would need a flashlight to see where I was going (yes, Matt did bring his flashlights). There would be a big chamber and on the walls of that chamber would be these Indian paintings we had been told about. Well, my picture was not exactly correct. Rather, as we pulled up to the little dock and looked to our left, we saw what was not a cave, but a big indent in the rock. Yes, we could get off the kayaks and go walk around, but it was hardly a cave. Yes, there were some Indian paintings on the walls, but they were barely distinguishable. I will never forget the plaque which stood in front of these paintings. It read something along these lines: Though we cannot accurately date these paintings, we believe them to be about ten thousand years old.” I laughed out loud. So did the guys. After about 15 minutes walking around this “cave,” we hoped back on our kayaks and headed back into the Rio Grande. After another 30 minutes paddling into the wind, we decided to turn around. Of course, this was only after a couple fishermen told us there was nothing to see for the next 13 miles. No thank you. That my friends was my first adventure on the Rio Grande. Hopefully it was not my last.

In-processing

2008-12-16T15:32:00.000-08:00

Del Rio, as a city has been, well, exactly what I expected it to be. It is 33,000 people (but really closer to 45,000). It has one main little strip that has a few restaurants on it. There is a Walmart, and a small mall with an Applebees of all places. There are little Mexican restaurants all over the place, most of which are undoubtedly delicious. The city consists of primarily Mexicans. This fact is clearly understandable in light of the city sitting on the border. The city exemplifies West Texas, or, at least, the picture of West Texas I have always held. Drive for 15 minutes and you are back in the desert mentioned above.

Laughlin itself is not all that much better. The base is small and its amenities rather lacking. Of course, this may be exactly what is needed considering the mission of the base. With no distractions, the hundreds of undergraduate pilot training (UPT) officers here have little to do besides study and drink. I plan to do more of the former than the latter, but that is not the choice of all from what I can tell. There are three of four main streets that run parallel to each other, a state of the art fitness center, track, pool, bowling alley, BX and commissary. There is a measily aisle of beverages of the alcoholic nature, but such beverages are available in abundance off base. The people here are “nice” for the most part. Though I have been here only four days I find that people are ready and willing to be your friend. I have, in these days, made a couple of good buddies, and plenty of acquaintances. As time goes forward, I pray these buddies will become good friends.

In-processing itself is an experience. On Dec 10, 2008, I reported for duty for the first time in my career. It was a rather surreal experience. There I was, a 22 year old Second Lieutenant who had spent his life dreaming of one day being an Air Force pilot, standing on the edge of a threshold. In that moment, I stepped over that threshold and began my future. Though I was not cognate of it at the time, at that single moment in time my life changed. The change was not dramatic in and of itself. In fact, it was rather anti-climactic. I sad down for 15 minutes while a civi went over a checklist I had to get signed off. I was then taken to the transition office where I was given another checklist. After another 15 minute brief, I was on my own. Yes, I was on my own. The rest of the day was spent trying to find my way around base, getting shots and my ID card, turning in medical records, setting up dental appointments, doing computer based training, and basically feeling completely overwhelmed and alone. But God was good. While I was sitting waiting for my brief my first morning, two guys, Stephan Katz and Matt Roland, approached me and asked if I was interested in moving into a duplex with them. Though I was not interested in doing such a move, it was these two guys who would take me in and make me a part of their “group.” It was them who I would have dinner with my first night, go to three hours of briefings with my third day, and go kayaking with my first Saturday. It was also them who I went to Church with the first time. Looking back, I can see Jesus’ words in John, and I feel a fool. “O, ye of little faith.” What little faith I had. I cried with fear that I would make no friends. I worried that I would be overcome with depression and grief for months to come. And there, on that first day, God brought two good guys into my life. I cannot wait to see what God does in this place.

These early days of in-processing, though difficult, have gone by quickly. I have already begun to gain an understanding of how things work around here, and am feeling more confident with each day. Though there is still a large amount for me to learn here, having not even been given a job as of yet, I know that there are people here aplenty for me to ask. God is Good, and he is continuing to watch out for me. I do not know what the future will be holding. I do not know what this next week is going to look like, or what kind of jobs I will be assigned. I don’t know really anything except that I am here, and for now, I suppose that will have to be enough. I pray that God will continue to bring more men into my life whom I can be connected with, whether that be through Del Rio Bible Church or through my job and classmates here.

The first of many

2008-12-03T11:08:00.000-08:00

After a bit of encouragement, I thought I should go ahead and begin a blog of my own. I realize that I have somewhat missed the blog bandwagon that has been going on for ages now, but better late than never I like to say. So what is the purpose of this blog? Well, it is to provide an easy and accessible way for those whom I love and love me to be able to keep up on my life over the coming months, and, maybe, years. It is a way that I can share my adventures, my hardships, and my joys with whoever wishes to read it. The coming posts will focus on my new life as an Air Force Officer, and the stories that will undoubtedly come with it.

Adventures Make Great Stories

Dear Senator

Hopeful

Hello Captain Obvious

White Christmas

The God Who Provides

Our second honeymoon

Life goes by so quickly

Back and Ready for Action

Update

FONDUE NIGHT!!!

The next bend

Welcome Bella!

Epic Mustache Fail

Mustache March

Getting to know the neighborhood

Our new home!!!

Movin on out

Unpacking

Vandy

Happy Trails

Not our best day ever...

Best Friend Visit

We know where we're going!!!

It's Christmas Time

Step by step

A world upside-down

Mas aviones

Major Weapons Systems Day!

Family

My new skill set

Airplanes and Paul the Apostle

Computer assisted instruction is a pain

3 weeks down...ish

Unbelievable

And now a word from the Mrs...

And we're back...and married...and two weeks before starting flight school

20 days...holy moley

Home sweet home....who would'ne thought?

Another week done...heading home soon

A Day on the Mountain

Frustrations and Prayers

Week two...and a little bit

Flight numero 3

Week two: uh oh

WOw

Drinking from the fire hose

The Blue Kazak--Doing its business

Carlsbad Caves

PUEBLO HERE I COME 1

To infinity and beyond...finally!!!

BAMA HERE I COME!

Update from the middle of nowhere

It's been a while

You Know You're In Texas

Chillin in the lion's den

It's been a while

more posts coming soon

one month and counting

My mission...right now

An LT's first Christmas

A Great Blessing...Christmas in Pictures

A day in the life of a Casual student

Del Rio...through my eyes

Backing up a little bit

That's two down for the count

Some pictures of Laughlin...not taken by me

One Week...and counting

In-processing

The first of many