It is hard to believe that it has already been a month since I arrived here at Laughlin. The world spins and time moves forward whether we like it to or not. In this case, I could not be happier. As I continue in this time of purgatory (for that is what I have come to view it as) I have had many an epiphany. One of the greatest of these is the role of hope in our lives. Without hope even the smallest tasks are impossible. Getting out of bed, eating, sleeping, cleaning, and going to work take all the energy you can muster even though they are as simple as they come. Why is this? Why does a life without hope seem utterly meaningless? I believe the answer lies in the essense of what hope is. Hope is not the little light at the end of the tunnel, as it is so often depicted to be. No, it is something far greater. It is the hand that grabs us kicking and screaming and drags us towards the light at the end of the tunnel. Hope is not the light; it is how we get to the light. You can see the light at the end of the tunnel and still give up and quite. I know. As these weeks have passed I have not had any problems seeing the end of the tunnel. I know the exact date that this purgatory will be over. Sept. 8, 2009. But that is hardely enough. Seeing a light 9 months away does me little good.
Hope. I bear hug it every moment of every day. I refuse to let go of it. Where does that hope come from. I have realized that it comes ONLY from one place. That place is God. Only God can make things work out. Only God can bring things to fruition. Only God can ensure that I will make it to tomorrow, or the next day, or Sept. 8. Only God. If there is no hope to be found in Him then the world is damned and this life is hell.
Even as I find my time here getting better almost daily it is my hope in God and his goodness that gets me out of bed each day. It is my hope for the relationships he has for me. It is my hope for the work he has for me. It is the hope for the witness I hope to be. It is hope for the present and for the future. It is hope for that day when I call this podunk down home. It is hope for the day when I can wake up and feel confident in myself here. These hopes are the hand that guides me and forces me to take another step.
I pray for each of you reading this that God can teach you to find hope in him as I have learned to. It is a hard lesson, but one which I would not change for the world.
1 comment:
Hey bro...I couldn't agree with you more. One of the biggest things I learned during my counseling classes was that without hope, we're completely done for. I don't know how people do it when they don't have a hope for a better world to come...a hope in the fact that this world is not how it was supposed to be...a hope found solidly in the person of Christ. As I sit here on the other side of the world and hear the echo of the mosque's call to prayer every few hours...it's only hope that makes me believe that there is a purpose in this- in the calling I felt to move here. It actually makes me kind of excited...so much hope in so many things to come! Love you.
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